


I'll Never Run Away Again

by somuchfin



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Oops, also nothing against any of the women in their lives, forgive me for my thematic elements, he's along for the ride, i have nothing personal against louis, i honestly don't know how this happened, niall is just kind of there, no one tells niall anything, now it's a ziam fic, sorry - Freeform, sorry louis stans, spoiler alert!happy ending, the 5sos crossover just happened, this is how i avoid my responsibilities, this was supposed to be a larry fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 21:09:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17373368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somuchfin/pseuds/somuchfin
Summary: It's time the men of One Direction had a heart-to-heart about their younger days.





	I'll Never Run Away Again

**Author's Note:**

> Larry is a classic. To be read like a regular story with little flashbacks. I tried, I guess. Also, I wrote this originally in Google Docs and then copied and pasted it here, so my apologies for the format being pretty wonky.

Most of the time, Louis tried not to think about how he and Harry had broken up. But that was a difficult thing to do when he was sitting in Zayn’s London flat, Zayn on one side and Niall on the other, and they were both asking him about how Harry was doing. “I don’t know how he’s doing.”  
Niall wrinkled his nose. “What do you mean, you don’t know how he’s doing?” He paused to take a sip of his drink. “That’s a load of rubbish if I’ve ever heard one.”  
Zayn shrugged and before Louis could interrupt him he said matter-of-factly, “Doesn’t surprise me one bit, with how things went and all.”  
“‘How things went?’” Now Louis was starting to feel a little hot under the collar. “What’s that supposed to mean? I know you were the president of the Larry fan club and everything Z, but that relationship came to an end right when it was supposed to.”  
“Look, I love you mate, I really do,” Zayn took a swallow of his drink and set it back down on the coffee table, “but that’s bullshit and we both know it. You know it from yourself and I know it from Harry.”  
Louis felt his arms go a little slack. “Harry talked to you about it?”  
“He didn’t really have to; we all knew what happened anyway, and it’s not like that kid would ever speak an ill word about you. He worshipped the very ground you walked on.”  
“He’s not wrong, Louis,” Niall chimed in. “Before it even happened we all knew where it was going. Even Harry did, I think, but like Zayn said, Harry would never think you capable of hurting him.”  
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? We broke up, it was amicable, we’ve both moved on.” Louis felt like he was going to cry and he hated himself for it.  
“You guys didn’t ‘break up,’” Zayn pointed out, complete with scrunched fingers for quotes. “You broke up with him. Hell, I don’t think he even properly broke up with him, did he?” He turned to Niall.  
“No, I don’t think so. If I remember correctly, didn’t Louis just sort of stopped talking to him, starting avoiding him…”  
“Now was that before or after he knocked up Briana?”  
“Enough!” Louis leapt to his feet unsteadily. “I didn’t break his heart! It was mutual!”  
The other two men looked at each other uncertainly. “Never said anything about breaking his heart, mate,” Niall said calmly, reaching for his glass. “That was all you.”

“Louis.”  
He had known long before the deep, insistent voice and warm hand on his that Harry would eventually say something. Harry’s hands were always warm. “What?”  
“Could you look at me?”  
That was the very thing that Louis had hoped he wouldn’t have to do, but he stopped walking and turned around anyway. Harry’s blue eyes met his own and Louis could tell he’d been crying again. “What?” His tone was sharper this time.  
Harry didn’t break his gaze. “Before I have to read it in a magazine, could you please tell me what’s going on? Please.” He didn’t stutter, didn’t flinch. He was always solid when it mattered.  
“What do you want to know?”  
“Is she pregnant?”  
Louis rolled his eyes. “Obviously.”  
For the first time Harry faltered, and his voice cracked. “Is it yours?”  
For a long time, Louis just stared at his boyfriend. If he could even still call Harry that. They’d hardly spoken for weeks, and when they did it always followed an easy pattern of Harry saying or doing something innocuous and Louis punishing him for it. No, Harry wasn’t his boyfriend anymore. Just the love of his life. “Yes,” Louis hissed, and he didn’t break his gaze either. “Briana is pregnant with my child.”  
Harry’s eyes went wide, and Louis stopped breathing. He waited for Harry to say something, but judging by the look on his band mate’s face Harry was waiting for Louis to say something. But Louis had known from the moment Harry’s hand had touched his that he wasn’t going to say anything, that he was just going to let this agonizing silence drag on and on until finally Harry’s hand left his and the other man turned around. Harry was a crier, and until recently he hadn’t been ashamed of it, especially not in front of Louis. It had been ages since Louis had seen tears falling from those dark lashes that he loved so much; but he had often seen aftermath, just like he had today. Louis left the room but lingered outside, his back pressed against the closed door. He was crying before he heard Harry’s first sobs.

“If we’re talking about failed One Direction relationships, we’ve gotta talk about you and Liam, Zayn, don’t we?”  
Zayn didn’t even look at Louis, but his tone was poisonous. “Watch yourself, Tomlinson.”  
“Don’t listen to him, Zayn, he’s bluffing, trying to change the subject.”  
“You’re lucky you didn’t bang anyone in the band, Niall, or I’d be coming after you, too,” Louis spat out before he could think better of it.  
“You and Harry are the only ones who slept together, you idiot, or don’t you remember?” Despite the rising tension of the situation, Zayn breathed an unnoticed sigh of relief from his new position between the two other men. But Louis wasn’t the only one feeling feisty. Fire danced behind Niall’s eyes as he looked up at Louis, who was still standing beside the coffee table. “But you know what, who said I didn’t bang anyone in the band, Tommo? Someone had to be there for Harry when you weren’t.”  
Louis doesn’t remember if he swore or lunged across Zayn first, but he does know that he did both before his hands found themselves grasping fistfulls of Niall’s shirt, his knees digging into the springs of the couch. Liam appeared out of nowhere, dropping a brown paper bag on the hardwood floor to assist Zayn in pulling Louis off of Niall.  
“What the fuck, Niall?” Zayn was shouting as he maintained his grip on one of Louis’ arms, pinning it behind his back as the older man struggled. “Why the fuck would you say that?!”  
Holding Louis’ other arm, Liam’s eyes darted between the people in the room. “What the hell is going on?!”  
“You didn’t!” Louis was still writhing, desperately trying to get at Niall. “Fuck you, Horan! Fuck you!”  
“Of course he didn’t fuck Harry, Louis! Are you insane?”  
Liam frowned, his brow furrowed. “What? Louis, calm down, tell me what’s going on.”  
Miraculously Louis stood still. He was breathing hard and still glaring at Niall, who was leaning back on the couch, looking rather rattled and sheepish. “Niall said he slept with Harry.”  
“What?” Liam repeated, snorting. “And you believed him?”  
Louis ground his teeth together and shook off his friends. “What’s in the bag, Liam?”  
Liam exchanged a look with Zayn. “Um, it was whiskey and Grey Goose, but I think I broke at least one of them when I had to keep you from strangling Niall.”  
Rounding the corner of the couch, Louis went to the hall to inspect the damage. “Got towels somewhere, Zayn?” He asked as he knelt beside the amber puddle, picking at the soggy remainders of the bag to reveal an intact bottle of vodka. “Thank god. I hate whiskey.”  
Zayn had just sat back down on the couch, and he rolled his eyes. “Of course I have towels.” He was about to get back to his feet, but Liam put a hand on his knee like it was the most normal thing in the universe and hopped up instead. Niall tossed Zayn a questioning look, but he couldn’t catch Zayn’s eye. Liam didn’t ask where the towels were.

The five boys of One Direction were sitting in a circle on the floor of their hotel room, an empty bottle of wine sitting on its side between them. It was just past one in the morning, and they had been playing spin the bottle for nearly half an hour. If they hadn’t managed to wrangle the bottle of wine and two six-packs of Smirnoff Ice into the room after their manager had gone to bed, spin the bottle wouldn’t have even been on the table; but with enough alcohol in their veins the boys were feeling rather uninhibited.  
That being said, nothing particularly memorable had come from the game; Harry was the one who had suggested they play it in the first place, and despite how much he had had to drink he couldn’t hide his nerves one bit either of the two times he and Louis had kissed. This, of course, did not come as any sort of a surprise to the other three boys, who had picked up on Harry’s schoolboy crush months ago. Harry had spun Louis first and shyly pecked him on the lips, as most of the boys had been doing. The part that came as a surprise was on Louis’ next turn, when his spin landed on Harry, and he took his friend’s face in both his hands and put his tongue right in his mouth.  
“Shit, Lou, just snog him right in front of us, why don’t you!” Liam had complained half-heartedly, laughing as he covered his eyes with both hands.  
“What?” Louis asked innocently, coming up for air. He left his hands on Harry’s cheeks, which were a wild shade of scarlet as the boy gazed blearily up at Louis. “Things were getting boring.”  
Zayn yawned. “Speaking of, we’ve gotta get to bed, guys. We’ve got stuff to do tomorrow.”  
“Not fair,” said Niall with a frown.  
“What do you mean?”  
“I’ve had to lock lips with everybody in this room, but you and Liam haven’t kissed yet.”  
“So?”  
“So, you’re saying,” Liam cut in, also yawning, “that if I kiss Zayn, then we can all go to bed?”  
Niall shrugged. “I mean, not really, but sure, yeah, I guess.”  
That was how, with minimal warning, Liam planted his broad hand on the side of Zayn’s neck and gently turned his face so that he could plant a firm kiss on his lips. Zayn tried as hard as he could not to kiss him back, because obviously that would be weird (except when Harry did it, because Harry was just a baby), but he before he could stop himself he felt his fingers curl around Liam’s biceps, his head tilting to the side for better access. Liam didn’t pull away.  
Louis whistled. “Yikes, mate! There something you’re not telling us?”  
Liam smiled against Zayn’s lips and pulled away. “You wish, you pervert.”  
“Out of all of us, how am I the pervert?” Louis scoffed and flopped down onto one of the beds. “I’m sleeping on this one.”  
Harry pouted and spoke for the first time in a while. “But that one’s the closest to a power outlet.”  
“There’s only three beds, Haz,” Louis said with a smirk, lying on his stomach with his chin propped up in his hands. “We have to share.”  
Feeling a rush of confidence, Zayn linked his arm through Liam’s and announced. “Then you’re with me, Liam.”  
Liam’s eyes searched Zayn's face as Niall let out a discontented sigh. “Why do all you guys always pick each other and not me?”  
“You have cold feet,” offered Louis, leaning forward to ruffle Harry's curls.   
Zayn laughed. “And you snore.”  
“Why does that even matter? Stay on your side of the bed and you won't have to deal with my feet. And we're all sleeping in the same room, so if I snored, which I don't, you'd still be able to hear it if you weren't sleeping in the same bed.”  
“You do snore, Niall, and it only just becomes tolerable from ten feet away.”  
Niall huffed and got up, using his foot to push the wine bottle up against the wall. “Whatever. I'm going to bed. You guys suck.”  
They all climbed into their respective beds and flicked off the bedside lamps. The room plunged into darkness, all Zayn heard was the sound of quiet breathing, most notably that of Liam beside him. They both laid still for what felt like hours, and then Liam rolled into his side towards Zayn, his arm finding Zayn's waist.

“Louis, stop taking shots. You have to give yourself time to feel it or it’s all going to hit you at once.”  
Louis rolled his eyes at Liam’s warning and readied himself to pour another shot of vodka. “I need to be drunk if we’re going to have this conversation.”  
“What conversation is that?” Zayn asked, snatching the bottle from his friends hands before the liquor could hit the glass.  
“He doesn’t want to talk about Harry,” offered Niall from opposite side of the table, as far away from Louis as he could be.  
“Watch it, Horan,” Louis hissed. “You’re already skating on thin ice.”  
“Christ, mate. I already told you that I didn’t sleep with Harry.”  
Liam took a shot and grimaced. “Yeah Louis, just let it go already. Niall was just being a dumbass. You know that Harry never slept with anyone in the band except for you.”  
“Or outside of the band, I’m pretty sure.” Niall pointed out. “Though there was that one time he got frisky with... Oh, what was his name?.”  
“What ‘one time?’” Asked Zayn with a frown.  
“It was after you left,” said Liam, and Zayn visibly flinched. “Harry and that kid from 5 Seconds of Summer got chatty when Louis wasn’t talking to him.”  
Niall started to laugh as he asked, “And didn’t it end up that he was already tangled up with the lead singer or something?”  
“Ashton.” They all looked up to find that Louis had downed the rest of whatever had been in Zayn’s glass. With a grimace he repeated, “Ashton. His name was Ashton.”

The four of them had happened to be in the area for something else, and when they heard that 5 Seconds of Summer was performing nearby they had begged management to let them stop by.  
The surprise visit was well-received, and thankfully no one had caught wind of where the boys of One Direction had run off to. Congratulations were had all around, and it wasn’t long before both bands management were urging them to wrap the visit up.  
Harry had excused himself to the restroom a while ago, and Louis hated that the boy being gone made him anxious. When someone asked where Harry had gone, Louis jumped at the chance for an excuse to go and fetch him so that they could leave.  
It was quiet as Louis rounded the corner into the public restroom, and he had no reason to be suspicious. Thus, to say he was surprised when his eyes landed on Harry liplocked with the drummer of their brother band was a heavy understatement.  
Ashton was the first of the pair to realize Louis’ presence, since they were facing each other. “Fuck!” He was said quietly, wiping his mouth guiltily as he pulled away from the kiss. Harry turned around fast, but when he realized it was Louis who had caught them he visibly relaxed.  
Louis was incensed. “So what’s this, Harry?”  
“What’s what?” At best Harry looked a little embarrassed, and at worst he looked like he was enjoying the attention that Louis was giving him. “I was congratulating him on his success.”  
“Were you now? And when did congratulations start including a complimentary shag?”  
“Hey, man.” Ashton stepped out from the shadows of the conversation and stepped halfway in front of Harry. “Watch your mouth, that’s not fair.”  
Louis laughed dangerously. “Oh? Harry, have you got a new boyfriend to defend you now?”  
That was about the time it registered with Ashton exactly what he was wedging himself in between, and the look on his face was a visual representation of an expletive if Louis had ever seen one.  
“Ash?” Just then, Luke, the lead singer of 5 Seconds of Summer, appeared in the bathroom’s entrance behind Louis, and everyone turned to look at him. He was clearly confused. “What’s going on?” He inquired warily. “You guys have been gone forever.”  
Louis pursed his lips and turned back to Ashton and Harry. “Did you guys want to tell him what you were up to in here, or should I tell him that you guys were snogging?”  
The color drained from Luke’s face. “You kissed him, Ash?”  
“Didn’t really think it would bother you, mate. Thought it might actually make you happy if I were getting it from someone else.” Ashton said with a roll of his eyes, and then he stormed from the bathroom. Luke looked between Louis and Harry with wide eyes and then dashed after his band mate.  
It only took a second for Louis to cross the space between himself and Harry. The kiss they shared was hard, possessive, and Louis’ hand was gripping the curve of Harry’s ass. “You don’t own me,” Harry breathed through gritted teeth against Louis’ lips.  
Louis kissed him again, his hand coming around to the front of Harry’s jeans. “I own this feeling.” He pulled away and turned to walk out. With a deadly look over his shoulder he added, “Good luck feeling it with anyone else.”

“So what exactly was your deal with Harry, Lou?” Liam inquired, pouring himself and Zayn each a shot of vodka. “You guys did sleep together, yeah?”  
“Oh yeah.” The alcohol was definitely hitting Louis now, and as a result his lips were looser. And he was a lot less angry. “Of course we did. We did that a lot. That was all it was, originally.”  
Niall cocked an eyebrow. “Was it now?”  
Louis nodded. “Oh yeah. I was the repressed gay role model and he was the scared gay protege, so it just made sense.”  
“I call bullshit.”  
Louis glanced up at Zayn. “Excuse me?”  
Zayn shrugged his shoulders. “You may think that it was just sex, or that it started out as just sex, or whatever you think it was; maybe it started out that way for you, but it never was just that for Harry.”  
“Oh? And how would you know?”  
“He told me about it. All of it.”  
“He did?” This was Liam, and he looked at Niall, who simply shook his head. “He never said anything to us about it.”  
“Harry is a very private person,” said Zayn, looking at the floor.  
“Oh my god.” Louis was staring at Zayn, chewing his bottom lip, and Zayn looked very afraid. “I know. I know why he talked to you about it.”  
“Louis…” Zayn was clearly uncomfortable. Liam had turned to look at him. “Please don’t. Not right now.”  
But Louis kept going, spurred on by either the alcohol or his own vitriol. Maybe by both. “He somehow found out about you and Liam.”  
A prolonged silence followed this declaration. Liam was still staring at Zayn, who had gone remarkably pale, but he didn’t dare touch him. Louis carefully watched everyone in the room, gauging their reactions, the most interesting of which was Niall. The blond was frowning, his brows pulled together, and his eyes were fixed on Zayn and Liam. Finally, Niall spoke. “What about you and Liam, Zayn?”  
“We were in a relationship.” Liam filled in, and he put his arm loosely around Zayn’s shoulders to comfort him. The gesture did not go unnoticed by Louis, but he was just glad that the party seemed to have forgotten about him and Harry for a moment.  
“You were? That was actually real? Jesus.” Niall ran a hand through his hair. “Why didn’t you tell me?”  
“We didn’t tell anybody,” Zayn said quietly, and he leaned into Liam’s side just a bit. “It was private.”  
“Apparently everyone was private back in those days. If you didn’t tell anyone, then how come Harry and Louis both know? Or I guess, how come I’m the only one who didn’t know?”  
“No one needed to know. No one needs to know.”  
“Harry walked in on them one time,” Louis said, “and I overheard their breakup when Zayn left the band.”

“No, Zayn, I get it.” Liam reached for Zayn’s hand, but Zayn drew away. “It’s… It’s okay. You gotta do what’s best for you, and I understand that. One Direction was never meant to be the endgame for any of us. Couldn’t be the endgame for any of us.”  
Zayn was looking anywhere but at Liam. “Why aren’t you mad?”  
“I told you, I understand! I have no reason to be mad at you.” Liam took a step toward Zayn, but he didn’t try to touch him again. Zayn stayed where he was. “The band’s not what matters to me right now. The band will be fine; if anything, this will give us more publicity. What matters to me, Zayn, is us. What matters is you.”  
When Zayn finally looked up at him, his eyes were welling with tears. “Liam.”  
Suddenly the true gravity of the situation dawned on Liam. “Zayn. No. Hey.” He reached up and cradled Zayn’s face in one of his hands, and Zayn did not pull away this time. “Hey, look at me. Don’t do this.”  
“It’s not going to work, Liam. It isn’t working.”  
“How is it not working? Zayn, I love you.”  
Zayn’s eyes drifted shut, a single tear falling between his eyelashes. His hand found Liam’s at his cheek, and he leaned into the touch like it was the last time he was going to feel it. “I know you do. But this can’t go anywhere.”  
“Why not?” Liam was desperate, his mind grasping for anything to hold onto. “Zayn, I will stand onstage in front of a stadium full of people and say that I love you. I will post about it on social media. I’ll tell management.”  
“I know you will. But I won’t.”  
The silence that followed was deafening. Zayn felt Liam’s hand slip away from his own, and when he opened his eyes he found Liam taking several steps away from him. “Oh.”  
“Liam…”   
“No, it’s okay.” It clearly wasn’t okay. Liam was looking down at the floor, and tears were beginning to fall from his eyes and down his cheeks. “I understand.”  
Just then, Louis appeared from behind a doorway, trying to act like he hadn’t heard the entire conversation. His grave face gave him away. “Hey, I was wondering where you were, Liam. Management wants to talk to you.”  
Neither of the men looked at Louis. Liam sniffed loudly and looked up at the ceiling, wiping at his eyes with both hands. After a few steadying breaths he muttered a thanks and slipped past him and out of the room. With just the two of them standing there, Louis looked at Zayn and said with venom, “You’re a fucking idiot, mate.”  
Zayn covered his face with his hands and nodded. “I know.”

“Are you crying? Christ, Zayn, I didn’t mean-”  
“Could you just shut up for a hot second, Louis?” Zayn asked sharply. Liam still had his arm around him, his thumb tracing slow circles on Zayn’s shoulder, and Zayn was acutely aware of the gesture. “You did mean, and you know you did. I was scared of being the gay one in One Direction, just like you were. No, not like you were, like you are. You make one abominable decision after another just because you can barely live with the fact that you’re still in love with Harry.”  
The point of the verbal assault was to get Louis to be quiet and think about his actions, but instead he immediately fired back. “Yeah, that’s right. Everyone likes to throw it in my face that I broke Harry’s little baby heart but no one ever asks what I was feeling through that whole time. No one asks why. I know that what I didn’t wasn’t right. I know Harry didn’t deserve what I did to him. But you’re exactly right, Zayn. I don’t want to be ‘the gay one.’ I know being gay isn’t a bad thing, I know that, but I was scared then, and I’m still scared now. What were people going to think of me? What were people going to think of us? All I could think of was people going, ‘Ha! I knew it! They were banging this whole fucking time!’ Yeah, I wanted to be with Harry, but I wanted it to be private. I wanted it to be us. I didn’t want any interviews or media coverage or our picture splashed across magazines. What we had was intimate. It was us. I wanted that or nothing at all.”  
“Then why did you sleep with Briana? And what was going on with Eleanor?” Asked Niall sincerely.  
Louis ran a hand through his hair. “I didn’t want to be gay. Desperately. And I thought maybe… Maybe if I cut him deep enough, Harry would walk away. That maybe he’d have a chance.”  
Liam looked puzzled. “Have a chance at what?”  
“At being happy with someone else,” Louis admitted quietly, looking away.  
For a second, no one said anything. Then Zayn sniffled, rubbed his eyes, and started to laugh. “You remember when I broke up with Liam and you called me an idiot?”  
“Yeah.” Louis didn’t understand. “Because you were.”  
“Well, Tommo, look at me.” The pair locked eyes across the coffee table, and Zayn deadpanned, “You’re a fucking idiot.”  
Louis sighed deeply. “Look, Zayn, I know I’m an idiot and that I fucked it all up. I should have treated Harry better and now I’ve lost my chance.”  
“Jesus, Louis, are you even listening to me? You’re an idiot for all of that, too, but we knew that already. What I mean is, Harry never wanted anybody else. The only thing he wanted in this world was you. You were his entire world. He thought that you had stopped loving him, that you had grown tired of him, that somehow he wasn’t good enough for you anymore."  
“Well, that’s not true.”  
“Guess you were too busy hating yourself,” Liam remarked with a shrug.  
“And Harry mistook that for you hating him instead.” Zayn finished.  
Louis caught Zayn’s eye again. “Then how did you fix it?”  
“Fix what?”  
“You and Liam.” Louis made a vague gesture with his hand in the direction of the pair. “Clearly something happened, you guys worked it out, I don’t know. But you made a mistake, just the same as I did, and you guys are fine.”  
“We’re not fine-” Zayn began to correct him, turning a deep shade of scarlet, but Liam put his other hand on Zayn’s knee and shook his head.  
“We’re working on it, Louis.” Liam said calmly.  
“One day it just hit me that I threw away the best thing I ever had, hurt the person that I loved the most, all because of my fear.” Zayn put his hand on top of Liam’s, and Liam looked like he might be ready to faint. “At some point I just realized that without him, I wasn’t really living.”

“I heard you broke up with Cheryl.”  
“I heard you broke up with Gigi.”  
“That’s old news.”  
“So is mine.”  
A car horn honked in the distance. Zayn looked over the coffee table in his London flat at Liam. Liam stared back at him, his expression betraying absolutely nothing. “I’m surprised you came.”  
“I am too.” He reached over for his jacket, which he had draped along the back of the sofa. “Shame it didn’t amount to much.” He was getting up to go.  
“Wait-”  
“Zayn.” Liam let out a deep sigh, but he didn’t sit back down, nor did he look at Zayn. “I didn’t come here to make small talk with you. I thought you had something important to talk to me about. That’s the only reason I came. I have no interest in catching up with you.”  
“Will you just give me a minute?”  
Liam checked his watch. “I’ve already given you fifteen.”  
“Just sit down!”  
“Don’t yell at me!”  
“I love you!” Liam froze, and Zayn continued, “I hope that was what you were hoping to hear, because that’s all I’ve got.”  
“That’s all you’ve got? That’s all you’ve got? You just pick people up and put them back down again Zayn! Do you even know how relationships work?”  
“No, I don’t! What I do know is that I can’t lie with someone without wishing they were you. Nothing happens in my life where I don’t want to turn around and tell you all about it. People keep asking me when I’m going to settle down but I don’t want to settle down with anybody but you. I want to hold your dumb hand and fall asleep in your arms. Nothing makes any sense to me without you.”  
Liam was crying, his eyes rimmed red, his hands trembling. “You can’t fucking say that. Not after what you did.”  
“I would stand in front of a stadium full of people and say that I love you. I will post about it on social media. I will tell your management, my management, One Direction’s management. Whoever the fuck you want me to tell, I will tell. I can’t live without you, Liam. I love you.”  
“Then what happened four years ago? How am I supposed to forget that?”  
“I’m not asking you to forget it.” Zayn came around the corner of the table and stood in front of Liam. He held his hands out, palms up. “I was scared, and I’m asking you to forgive me.”  
Liam just stared at Zayn’s outstretched hands for a while, studying the lines and creases on Zayn’s palms, the veins snaking through his wrists. Then, gently, hesitantly, he laid his hands in Zayn’s. “Give me time,” he pleaded softly. “I love you, but I need time to forgive you.”  
Zayn closed his eyes and leaned forward. Liam didn’t resist when his nose bumped against Liam’s neck, years of memories flooding back. “Say it again.”  
“Say what?” Liam whispered.  
“Tell me you love me.”  
For the first time since he had stepped foot in the flat, Liam smiled. “I love you.” He said again. And Zayn kissed him.

“So you guys are back together?” Niall was scratching at the nape of his neck. “How come no one ever tells me these things? I thought we were all friends.”  
Liam rolled his eyes. “We are friends, Niall.”  
“Right, right, it’s just private, isn’t it?”  
“Right.”  
Suddenly, Louis stood bolt upright from the couch. “Oh my god. I’ve got an idea.”  
“That doesn’t sound good,” said Zayn mildly.  
“I’ve just got to go and talk to him, tell him exactly what I told you guys. I’ve still got a chance.”  
“Louis…” Niall clicked his tongue disapprovingly. “You’re drunk. Now is not a good time.”  
“I’ll take a cab.”  
Louis was already making for the front door, and Niall was giving the other two men a wild look. “Why don’t you accompany him, Horan?” Liam suggested as they heard the door slam shut.  
“Are you crazy? He shouldn’t even be going in the first place!”  
“I’ll shoot Harry a text, let him know what’s happening.” Liam glanced over his shoulder at the windows facing the street. “You’d better hurry. Louis’ already moves fast when he’s sober, and he’s fucking lightning when he’s drunk.”  
“Are you fucking-” Niall was pissed, but he leapt from his seat anyway, and moments later the front door was slammed once more.  
In the newfound silence of the flat, Liam scooted over on the couch and laid down, placing his head in Zayn’s lap. “That was almost too easy.”  
Zayn ran his hands slowly through Liam’s hair. “What?”  
“Getting the both of them to leave.”  
“You’re not going to text Harry, are you?” Liam shook his head. “Doesn’t make you a very good friend.”  
“What, so I could give him a chance to lock his door? Or better yet, to leave altogether? How anticlimactic would that be, Louis showing up to an empty place?”  
“I still think he should have that option.”  
“Do you wish that I had had that option?”  
“You came over to this very flat when I asked you to!”  
“Different situation. I had time to prepare myself.”  
Zayn closed his eyes and leaned back, his hand laying flat against Liam’s chest. “Do you think they’ll be okay?”  
“Louis and Harry?”  
“Yeah.”  
Liam shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. Louis really did a number on that kid. I know he was dealing with a lot, but you can’t take that out on other people.”  
“You know I did what I thought was best for the both of us.”  
“So did Louis. You heard what he said, all that nonsense about Harry finding someone else.”  
“Is it selfish to give up the person you love so that they can be happy?”  
Liam grabbed Zayn’s hand with his own and looked at him seriously. “It is when you are their happiness.”

Harry was laying on Louis’ chest, breathing gently, his eyes closed. The sun was up, warm light pouring through the cracks in the curtains, painting everything in the room in a soft glow. Louis looked down at the mess of dark curls tickling his neck and whispered, “I love you.”  
Harry sniffed and stretched like a cat, groaning, and for a moment Louis’ heart raced. He’d barely admitted it to himself that he had such deep feelings for someone else, and he definitely didn’t feel ready for Harry to know just yet. For him to know maybe ever. But Harry’s eyes stayed closed, and Louis breathed a quiet sigh of relief.  
“I love you, too.”  
Louis’ head snapped to attention, and Harry pressed a slow kiss to the side of his neck. “You do?”  
Harry laughed, a low rumble deep in his throat. Leaning back, he propped himself up on his elbow and yawned. “Yep. I love your smile, your nose, your eyes…” He touched each part of Louis’ face with his fingertips. “Even your funny eyebrows.”  
“My eyebrows are funny?” Louis asked, relaxing. He cracked a smile as he caught Harry’s hand in his own.  
Harry nodded with feigned solemnity. “A little, but I wouldn’t worry about it.”  
“Oh?”  
“What you’ve got in here,” he said, leaning forward to posit a kiss on the bare skin over Louis’ heart, “really makes up for them.”  
“Maybe I’ll just shave them off, see how you like that.”  
“No!”  
Harry was laughing again as he began rolled away, but Louis caught him around the waist and pulled him close. “I’ll draw them on.”  
“But you can’t draw!”  
Louis kissed his forehead. “I’ll just steal yours then.”  
“How?”  
“Just wax ‘em off and paste ‘em right where mine are supposed to be.”  
“Pretty sure that’s illegal.”  
“Don’t try and act like you wouldn’t visit me in jail.”  
“Even if you stole my eyebrows?”  
“Right off your face.”  
Harry frowned, his lower lip protruding, and Louis took the opportunity to kiss him. When he pulled away, Harry was still thinking. “Yeah, I’d still visit you. Even if you stole my eyebrows.”

“Louis?” Harry was standing in the threshold of his flat, holding the door open. “Niall?”  
Niall was panting from chasing Louis up the stairs. “He shouldn’t have come, I know, but he’s drunk and fast and I couldn’t catch him. Liam said he would text you. I’m surprised you’re even here.”  
“I took the day off,” Harry answered slowly, sizing Louis up. “Clearly not my best choice.”  
“Harry, listen.” Louis had been confident on the way over, but now, seeing Harry face-to-face, he was just desperate. “We were talking and drinking and I figured something out.”  
Harry looked disappointed. “Might be a little late for figuring, wouldn’t you say?”  
“I made a mistake, Harry. No, I made a lot of mistakes. Mistake after mistake after mistake after mistake.” For being drunk, Louis was surprisingly coherent, though his articulation could have used some work. “But the biggest one I made was pushing you away. I was scared of myself and of what it meant to love you. But god, we were talking and drinking and-”  
“You already said that.” Harry said tersely.  
“-but we were talking and drinking and damnit Harry I never stopped loving you. I’m still making mistakes but the one thing I did right all along was falling in love with you.”  
Harry looked like he might vomit. “Will you keep your voice down?” Was all he managed to say.  
“What?” Louis’ face dropped. “Are you afraid someone will hear?”  
“Aren’t you?” Harry asked pointedly.  
Louis shook his head hard and raised his voice. “I love you, Harry Styles. You’re one of the best things that will ever happen to me, and I want the whole world to know it.”  
“You know…” Niall was gnawing on his bottom lip and feeling extremely out of place. “I think I’m gonna go. You two seem to have it figured out, and my only job was to get Louis here without him dying or throwing up, so…” But neither Harry nor Louis were listening to him, and so he found his way back down the stairwell.  
“All these years…” Harry said slowly.  
“All these years.”  
Louis took a hesitant step forward, and Harry flinched. “Briana and Eleanor…”  
“I was trying to be someone I’m not.”  
Harry chewed on his lip as he thought. “What you did wasn’t fair.”  
“I know.”  
“Not to me or to them.”  
“I know. But Harry, I want to make things right. And more than that, I want to be happy. And I can’t be happy, truly happy, without you.”  
There was a long pause, and Louis was nearly certain that the love of his life was going to walk back inside the flat and close the door in his face. Instead, after carefully studying the grain of the hardwood floor for what felt like hours, Harry looked up at him. “Do you want to talk?”  
Louis nodded earnestly. “Yeah, I do.”  
Harry looked sixteen again, nervous and unsure, but he stepped back and opened the door wider behind him. “Would you like to come in?”


End file.
